Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Letting Go

Emerson's Eyelashes
Originally uploaded by katzeye.
It can't be ALL ABOUT ME much longer. I promise, I am getting out of the pitty pot, and soon, this blog will be turned back over to you. I am already considering the next controversial or strange topic.

I will say, though, that today I was feeling a bit discouraged. I really think it is just that reality is sinking in and I am facing the facts that my beloved camera equipment is gone. I will admit, though, that I did look under the bed once more this morning, just for good measure, even though I KNOW, that it isn't there (from looking four times already), and I KNOW that the last place the bag was seen was in Phoenix, AZ.

(Oh, no, am I becoming obssessive-compulsive?)

I wonder if I will ever again be able to eat a veggie sandwich from Subway.

So, I am facing reality. BLEH.

BUT, there is a silver lining to every cloud.

I see that I have been self-absorbed and obsessed with this for four days, and that is enough. I'd turn on the radio and realize I was not even listening to it, so I'd turn it off, and so forth. OBSESSED. DEMENTED.

Okay, the silver linings:

First and foremost, the kindness, empathy, sympathy of family, friends, strangers. How utterly amazing.

How humbling and overwhelming. I am so grateful.

Secondly, this has given me pause to consider what is truly valuable to me and what is not.

Thirdly, not taking so many pix, gives me a chance to review what I have taken thus far.

And, this has given me a chance to evaluate what my talents, gifts and interests are and to fortify that this IS my passion.

My son says that by next week, thanks to so many of you, we will be able to replace the camera body and one of the lenses, at least. That makes me happy.

If you helped me in this, and would like more than just a spammish thank you, let me know, and I will make you a print of your favorite photo from my flickr photostream, and send it to you, or take your portrait, or a portrait of one of your loved ones, if you are nearby. Do let me know, I want to express my thanks through actions whenever I can.

thank you so much!


K.H. said...

it's like you went through all those bad-news stages, what are they, first denial, no, this can't be, then shock, then bargaining (at least return the card, no questions asked, etc.), and then anger, but mixed in still with shock and unbelief, and maybe now you are starting to enter the peace and acceptance stage.

These kinds of stages only happen like this, of course, when the loss is large, like a death in the family, learning that you have a fatal disease, or when losing something that is especially meaningful to you.

If you just lost your shoes, you might experience these stages, but it would be all really quick and then done with.

Anonymous said...

Very poignent!

Steve B.

Corey Moortgat said...

Hi Kat, just got your question about business cards. I've never done them for someone else, but no reason I couldn't! I'd say I could do the artwork for $40 per design, then you could have them printed however you'd like. You can email me directly at appendageassemblage@hotmail.com if you want to chat about it, so we don't have to keep commenting on each other's blogs!

KC said...

Steve B. was your comment about poignancy directed to k.h. or to me? If to me, thanks. Been feeling like walking poignancy lately.

cecilia said...

thanks for the nice comments on my movie blog http://like2watch.blogspot.com... the pic with this post is breath taking. Splendid!!

kat said...

Thanks, Cecilia!

Anonymous said...

I've been looking at your photos on flickr and see that you have dropped off in the amount of photos, etc. that's sad. I hope to soon see lots of your work again!