Thursday, October 05, 2006

How Do You Feel About Privacy w/re: Your Home?

Yellow House
Originally uploaded by katzeye.
Okay, finally found a moment to repost this one:

What is your comfort level about visitors in your home?

As far as you're concerned, your home is an open book, er home, and in fact, you don't even lock your doors. You have a sign out front that reads, "Mi Casa es Su Casa." You often come home to find that your home is full of visitors and it makes you happy. The more the merrier. And you often give up your bed, and belongings to your visitors, whoever they may be.

Sure, friends and family can stay with you, anytime. You create a wonderful space for them, adding new sheets and candles and stock the 'fridge with yummy snack foods, and you clear your schedule so you take take them around to see the sites.

Family need to stay for a few months? No problem! Come on in. You move out of the den, where you were doing all of your scrapbooking, sewing, movie editing, bill paying, napping, model airplane designing, and welcome them wholeheartedly and never ask how much longer before they find their own place.

Okay. Family or friends can stay for a limited amount of time, with advanced warning, and a clear cut arrival and departure time. You will put clean sheets in the room, and move out your welding equipment. You'll clear a space in the refrigerator, and a drawer in the bathroom. And you'll have fun with them while they are with you.

Short term visitors, okay. Long term crashing, no way.

Where do you draw the line on your privacy? Can visitors go in and out at will, including in and out of your bedroom/bathroom?

At what point do you feel there is intrusion or invasion?


6 string said...

NO problem, if they can find a way to get through shoulder high stacks of books and actually locate a bed or couch without a beagle on it fine. In most cases the sight of the living room looking like ebay central shipping thwarts any attempts at a sleep over. Then there is the kitchen, now fondly known as Sparky's room. Only his meals are prepared here, we go out to eat hence would be fridge munchers must like hot dogs, kibbles, and chicken nuggets, (his favorite). Then there is the back yard, where I live: complete with cactus, shade trees, and a frisky beagle chewing at your ankles. No takers yet on a sleep over, even the daughter moved out before she graduated from High School. The beagle isn't as smart, he owns any area not occupied by books. Do not attempt to move, he's gotten grouchy in his old age.

kat said...

Sounds to me like you have the perfect system for discouraging vistors who might want to stay, 6 string!

PTD said...

For me it's definitely D. I am okay with it to a point. But I cannot stand to have people live with me, other than my husband. It was okay to have my kids live with us of course, because we were raising them, and we set down the house rules. But other than that is an invasion of privacy that would make me koo-koo!

Jordan said...

i totally value my privacy, and only tolerate having visitors. i enjoy them, but when it is time to go home, i revel in my empty house where i can walk around naked if i want and eat ice cream out of the carton and sing at the top of my lungs!

kat said...

I hear you and I agree. When it's you and your family and your kids, it's one thing. Roommates, adult kids, well, really, any adults and it's another thing entirely!

kat said...


CW said...

For me it is absolutely a cross between A and B. What good does it do me to have what I am fortunate to have if I don't share with those less fortunate? I love my family/friends and would enjoy their company anytime. As I write this I have a house guest who doesn't know how long he is going to stay. All I have to say is that it has been a pleasure to have him here.

kat said...

CW (is that you?) Who's your houseguest?

Cyclothymic Cister said...

Hi Kat. I’ve been away for a while but I want to comment on the “houseguest question.” I started out an A but have slid down the scale to a D. I used to so enjoy sharing with friends and family and would make my place a very welcoming environment. I believed that since I’ve been blessed with a home and a way to provide food and comfort, then I should spread the blessing. My generosity was abused. Now I see that some people are moochers.

I won’t list all the characters we’ve had in our home over the years, but the last houseguest we had was here less than a month ago. We are still reeling from his visit. He was presumptuous, clueless, rude and aggressive. I’m still baffled as to whether he is that clueless or if he is truly a professional moocher. Here are some examples of what he did:

He stayed in the bathroom a lot.
He used our computer, a lot, even when my husband needed it for his work.
He pulled up a chair and sat directly in front of the T.V.
He yelled at us from another room when he needed assistance.
He told us how we should relate to our grown children (he is a bachelor with no children).
He gave me decorating “suggestions”.
He told me what he could and could not eat, yet did not offer to help provide for his special diet.
He pretended to want to help with choirs, but he was helpless and incompetent.
He used our cell phone a lot.
He insisted on us accommodating his schedule.
He talked constantly and loud. He didn’t listen.
He smirked at our opinions.
He stayed two weeks!

We are putting off fixing up our downstairs as a guest suite like we’d planned! Family is still welcome anytime except that grown children must have a definite plan for leaving. Other potential guests? The welcome mat has been taken up (at least for a while).