Wednesday, September 06, 2006

How Far Back Can You Remember?


Sleeping Emerson
Originally uploaded by katzeye.

I was talking to friends tonight about back-to-school. One friend’s daughter was starting third grade. I said, “I remember third grade.”

Boy do I remember third grade. I remember what my teacher looked like, what she wore, and the boy who told everyone he would kiss me before the year was over (a thought that terrorized me the entire year. And true to his promise, on the last day of school, I was waiting to get on the bus, and he appeared out of nowhere, planted a wet one on my cheek and disappeared into the cheering cacophony of his buddies! Ewwwww, yuck!).

But when I said that I could remember third grade, the others were astonished. Some said that they could only remember back as far as fourth grade. Some said that junior high was their limit. I was even more astonished than they were!

I told them, and it is the absolute truth, that I could remember being a baby. I can remember being held horizontally, all wrapped up, I remember my grandmother’s lace curtains making me sneeze. I remember getting my diapers changed. I remember gnawing on zwieback when I was teething and how my gums felt. I remember breastfeeding. I remember the feel of soggy cloth diapers, being in a crib, crying on my dad’s shoulder and the feel of his whiskers. I remember when my brother was born when I was two, I remember my sister’s birth and my next brother’s birth. I remember being a toddler. I remember what scared me and what comforted me. I remember everything about being five and the first day of kindergarten. I remember the scratchy, fussy dress my grandmother made me for kindergarten, and I remember how relieved I was to change into “dungarees” after I got home again.

I remember first grade. I remember everything about my classmates, my teachers, my room, my toys, my books, and what my siblings said and did and what got us into trouble, and how we got out of trouble. I remember my childhood shoes, my toys, and what I liked to eat and what I didn’t like to eat (I hated cheese around age 5-9, and have been making up for that lapse ever since). I remember the first time I saw television when I was around age one (which was also around the time that most people first saw television). It was a huge piece of furniture with a tiny little black and white screen.

I remember hiding under the bed in my room when I was very young. It was a trundle bed so it was a very nice place for hiding from brothers. Really, there is very little that I DON’T remember. I was as surprised at how little my friends could remember as they were at how much I could remember.

They suggested that I survey people to find out how much they can remember. So here it is. How far back can you remember?

40 comments:

Anonymous said...

I can't remember past the day that Suri's photo in Vanity Fair was released. Before that date, nothing had any meaning for me.

Nicklaus Kage

... said...

Dear, pathetic, Nicklaus, maybe you should get a life and I mean that in the kindest way possible.

Anonymous said...

Memory has some interesting quirks to it. We may have all gone through an excercise like this and just asking the question again triggers memory of those answers, so is it the original memory or links we have created from previous attempts to go back to our earliest days? My earliest retained memory is lying on my parents floor looking at their fish tank and the little neon tetras darting about. I can remember the red brick buildings, the pale green carpet and the fact I was horizontal most of the time. My parents told me I was a little over a year then. I find it odd that certain periods of my life are almost void of memories, maybe due to the monotony of routine that has smeared time into meaningless chaos. Sue can remember things by date, I can't. But over time the mind has an interesting way of clarifying distant events that were never noted or found to be important then. It's like we have seperate files for memory that can go buried for years only to be awakened by a familiar song, or stimulated by smell or a long lost relative's voice. Looking back you see the crests of the hills but not the valleys.

In music I have memorized over 500 songs. Yet if I were to try and play solo I might get through 20 of them, with the band I only need to hear the beginning, get a few bars in and the song automatically flows, even if we haven't played it for years. So I think the brain uses multiple reference points to bring detail to memory, but does not specifically file the whole memory in one location.

... said...

6string,

Interesting thoughts there. I have always been a poor history student because things like chronology and dates always escape me. Yet, I can remember exactly what everyone wore and what the air smelled like and the sounds and the color of the sky from an impromtu outdoor concert 30 years ago. I can remember being 8 years old, walking across the grass at a park in my barefeet and the feel and smell of the wet grass. I can't tell you the date, though.

And yes, songs and scents always bring a flood of some kind of memory.

I was thinking recently, too, about how it used to be that we would hear a song and as the final chords faded we would, in our minds, hear the beginning cords of the next song on the album! Always!

I often sense, also, that there are things that I seem to have chosen deliberately not to put in my memory banks. Mark is always startled that I haven't memorized my driver's license number. Well, it's always with me, so I don't feel I need to. And anyway, I HAVE memorized my SS# and as far as I'm concerned, that is enough with the number memorizing.

... said...

aj-today,

Your memories go back further than the people I was talking to last night! Hmmm, this is kind of interesting, because you are an artistic kind, right? And Mr. 6string is an artist and a musician.

Could it be that artists remember further back than non-artists?

Cyclothymic Cister said...

Kat,
I, too, am astonished when people tell me they cannot remember much about their childhood. I, like you, can remember being a baby. I remember taking a bottle. I can remember sitting in my high chair. I remember my first spanking. It was from my dad who used a fly swapper on my diapered bottom. I had a temper tantrum rolling and kicking on the floor. I remember stepping out into the snow with just my diaper on and my mom grabbing to get me back in. I recall the pattern of wallpaper in my first bedroom before the age of two. I remember vividly the places I played. I can recall smells and music and atmosphere and faces and voices as if I am experiencing it all over again. I remember most everyone in first grade. The boy who always tried to kiss me. The classmates who wet their pants. The girl who wore a faux leopard coat. The cross-eyed girl who always brought an extra snack to share with me. The smell of the mimeograph machine. First grade is when I developed a dislike for milk. In second grade I was moved to the very back of the room for talking to my “neighbor” too much.

I remember sooo many things. And like aj, I remember calling for my mother to “wipe me.” I remember the very first horse I saw at the age of three. From that day on I asked for a horse for every birthday. I had to settle for a hamster on my sixth birthday.

I could go on and on. I remember my rock collection, my “costumes” when I became different characters like Robin Hood, or an American Indian. Or a detective. I remember my hideouts. (Yes I was a tomboy but show my feminine side now). I was terrified that Tyrannosaurus Rex would come marching through our yard. These things are all before age eight.

And by the way, I am an artistic type. I don’t remember dates so much, but details of the people, places, things and circumstances. I could right a full-length book on my childhood memories before fourth grade. In this post it is so hard to select which ones to tell. Sorry for such a long response.

Anonymous said...

i think my earliest memory is being in diapers. i was mad once cause chris was helping you change my diaper and i didn't want him to help. when i was out of diapers, i remember missing the sound that the diaper made behind me and i asked you if i could wear one again just to hear that noise again. i remember being in the crib, and crying in the middle of the night and then worrying that i was waking my brothers with my crying. i remember a reoccurring nightmare i had in the crib. oh i remember pooping in my diaper in the crib. i had a technique. i remember peeing the bed, and peeing in my purple ruffle butt corduroy pants. i remember baths and being rocked to sleep. i remember waking up in the morning in pajamas and wondering how they got on me. the more i sit and think, the more i remember!

Anonymous said...

I can remember the midwife coming to check on my belly button a few days after the cord had been cut. I can remember her weighing me, and measuring me. I can remember sleeping in the bed with you and Dad. I can pretty much remember lots of different events from shortly after birth and on. I do, however, have a slightly photographic memory. I guess you could say some events, like beautiful pieces of art, are imprinted in my mind forever.

... said...

Cister, how fun it was to read your post! Yes! There are others out there who remember like that. I have even had people be angry with me and tell me that it's just not possible to remember that far back. Some try to explain that it is a kind of second-hand memory, from hearing stories about things that happened. But second-hand stories do not contain the vivid detail that always comes from all senses being involved in forming a memory! Thanks for your fascinating post.

... said...

Kiera, that was a fun read! I am not at all suprised that you can remember those things. I am wondering if this has anything to do with it: from birth on, you have been the kind of person who has always been actively involved in life, observing, noticing, commenting, participating, feeling intensely, etc.

I like how you write about missing the sound of the diaper. It makes me think that people who remember further back are people who use their senses more, most or all of them to experience life.

... said...

Very interesting, CW! Of course, I remember those things, too. You were just a few days old when the midwife was checking up on you, so that is very impressive!

The photographic memory thing also interests me. Maybe I should consider a new topic on that soon. I totally utilized a full-on photographic memory in college, to the extent that I could look for information on a page in a textbook by turning the pages in my mind. I sometimes felt like I was cheating on tests! Having asked around, it seems that the use of photographic memory to one degree or another is actually fairly common in our family.

And now I am wondering if such traits are related.

Good to hear from you here!

Anonymous said...

I remember,when I was around 3, I standing at the top of the stairs at the back door watching the squirrels run up and down the big tree in the back yard.

I remember being really scared in that same house (probably same age)and crawling through the little sliding "service-type" door/window thing on my bedroom wall into the kitchen. Sitting there on top of the kitchen counter until my mom found me. (Eventually my parents put the dresser in front of that thing to cover it)

And of course playing hide and seek and hiding in the clothes hamper in the bathroom.

I seem to remember a lot from when I was 3ish.

At 5 or 6 I remember a particular day in kindergarten eating tuna fish sandwiches (with sweet relish in them) and having my mom come and teach us the hula. It was Hawaiian day. And we had pineapple and sugar cane.

I remember a lot of other things after that time/age.

It's funny how I've always had those things fresh in my memory.

I guess I have a pretty good recollection of my youth.

Anonymous said...

Here you can find some of my childhood memories:

http://family.webshots.com/album/554928661dAzBEH

Anonymous said...

I remember from age 3.

I remember when my father would teach me to count 1, 2, 3. 3 was how old I was

That is the earliest I believe I remember

Anonymous said...

I was just talking to someone on the phone earlier and i mentioned that i could remember back to a time before i could walk and i was crawling on the ground toward a pacifier (i was at a daycare center), i stuck it in my mouth and the teacher took it away; i was crying hysterically! And he did not believe me!! He said, "You cant remember back to the age before you could walk..." Im glad someone else has a similar recollection, it helps in my arguement... :)

Anonymous said...

i remember when i was two. people said i was just making up a vision from people telling me stories about the event. the truth is nobody ever speaks of my dads funeral, which is what i remember. i remember the way my white dress swung around me and walked down an aisle with people sitting all around me. i believe that the trauma of that time, of losing my father, made me remember that day.

... said...

It's been so fun to hear how far back others remember! And it's so interesting how those who don't recall as far back get irritated and don't believe us when we say we can remember that far back! Thanks for all of your comments!

Anonymous said...

I found this blog through Google's search engine. I was interested in finding out how far back most people can remember. Your blog came up as one of the results and I was quite shocked to find out all that you can remember. My earliest memory dates back to when I was about 2-3 years old. Other than a few very brief memories from then, my memory doesn't really start until I was about 4 years old. Then I remember, in great detail, many events starting at age five. From there, I remember almost everything in my life.

So, what is it that makes your memory so strong? How can you remember so far back? Were you free of trauma? Most people who experience trauma at an early age don't remember both the trauma and the years surrounding it. That's my case. But for you to remember being a baby....WOW! Did you live in the same house for many years? I'm really curious...I'd really like to know how people can remember so far back.

Click on my link to see my profile, and then get in touch with me. I'm very interested in this. I've tried EMDR to help me remember as far back as one year old, but it didn't work.

... said...

Hi Daniel,

I'm not sure how it is that I can remember that far back. When I was first aware that I could remember a lot from infancy on, and that most people I knew could not, I was skeptical,and so tried to validate my memories by mentioning obscure things to others, older people, and they could validate what I remembered.

I lived in the same home from infancy until around age 13. I had creative, intelligent parents and lively siblings. Our parents encouraged us to be creative and innovative.

I just wonder sometimes if innate personality has anything to do with it. I was a born observer, introverted, etc. I've spent my life observing, drawing, photographing, writing, etc. I notice details that others overlook. Ya think?

Anonymous said...

My friend Sally and I were just having this conversation. I think perhaps she thought I was a phenonemon and maybe did not believe it was possible to recall your Christening at six months old. My parents did not believe it, rather dismissed it. Until one day not so many years ago I described my great grandparents garden that afternoon and how the bean poles were at the back on the left and how we they stood together, this dear elderly couple, my Papa Bill holding out a pot of maramlade. My parents had themselves forgotten this but as soon as I mentioned it were shocked to recall the event and realise that I had been taking it all in.
I remember alot, from my nans death, first day of school, sleeping in the pram and eating pureed food. Smells evolve such strong memories they can make me cry. I am 34 now and have just got an allotment. My Grandfather would have loved it that I am following somewhat in his footsteps and I hear his voice loud and clear in my head saying, 'Hello Fan.' I love it that I remember in such detail. The memories make me cry sometimes from the loss and love but I would rather have them than not.

... said...

Anon, that is wonderful! Our memories and experiences are what make our lives rich. Thanks for posting!

Anonymous said...

I remember being a baby I thought everyone did till I the same started talking to friends and found out they could only remember since about 5 yrs old, I remember I hated not being able to walk but my mind or my concious would come and go like a I was there but I wasntwas quite weird and confusing to me....

... said...

anon,
your experiences sound familiar to me!

Anonymous said...

I have distinctly remember most things from the age of three or four onward, and I've always had a few distinct memories from before that. My earliest memory used to be me lying in a crib being very upset but not having any words to think in.

What prompted the google search that led to your blog was this: Last night I was thinking about babies (a family friend is due next week) and realized that I have this EXTREMELY vague memory of just having been born. I know that sounds made up, and the people I mentioned it to asked if I just created that memory or something, but I genuinely believe that I remember it. It's a really frightening thought, actually. The memory isn't distinct at all, but it's there. Barely.

I think, like some others have said, that I have so many memories because I've always been extremely observant and in tune with my environment. My mother has told me that as a baby I would always stare wide-eyed at everything and seem to be taking it all in. I guess that's why I can remember so much.

Anonymous said...

And I submitted that comment without proofreading it at all, so I apologize if the grammar/spelling are completely dreadful :)

... said...

anon-that is amazing and I believe you, that you could remember that far back! It would be interesting if you were to be hypnotized to see if you could recall it a bit more.

Anonymous said...

I remember shortly after birth, the bright lights, wanting my mom and wondering why they took so long to give me to her and why she didn't insist on taking me. Where was she? I remember my mom being in my face kissing my hands and feet and talking sweet baby talk but I wondered why she was kissing these other objects and not my face and was happy when she did. I later learned that babies have to learn they have feet and hands. At some point it registered they were mine, but not right away. I remember lying on cool sheets with the summer sun pouring in the window in the afternoon while my mom tried to nurse me lying down but couldn't. I remember she held me so stiffly when she tried to nurse sitting up that I couldn't nurse properly, which explains why she got a breast infection. Then she didn't nurse me or see me for about 2 months. She told me I was 6 weeks old at the time this happened. But I also didn't see her because my crazy Aunt thought it better for her not to. I guess I went for my mom's breast the first time, so after that, they just kept us apart and my uncle or dad bottle fed me and changed me. When I was reunited with my mom, who I have given up on, thought maybe she died, because she wouldn't just leave me, although I know I wondered, as I cried and cried for her day after day, I went straight for her breast. I remember my mom and dad passing me back and forth trying to give me the bottle in vain. I remember it tasted like chalk and I wanted my mom's sweet breast milk. I remember being on the changing table and my mom changing my diaper.
I remember the first time I stood, I remember walking around the coffee table to learn how to walk and there was a penny I was always putting in a tiny drawer that was part of the table and then taking it out. I remember walking over my dad's chest as he lay on the floor after work, and I would laugh and laugh.

I remember so many things being so little. I'm glad I'm not alone. Whenever I would tell someone I remembered the first time I stood up, they said I didn't and couldn't possibly have. After that, you don't want to say more. They just refuse to believe you, no matter what.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm... this is indeed interesting. I have memories from when I was 5 or 6 months old when i used to live in an apartment in Mexico, we left it when i was 6 months. The memories are very vivid, i remember with all detail my room and even the colors of every horse in the merry-go-round that was attached to my baby bed, I also remember where were the doors positioned and.. well, everything. People never believed this, everyone told me that was not possible, even a psychology teacher told me that was simply not possible. I had to say they had convinced me so, until today. Glad to know it is more normal than I expected.

Unknown said...

I'm only 11, but I can remenber when I was 3 years old and playing wit my bestest freind, and then I fell off the trycle, and started crying, my parents came over and said it's okay, my freind was goanna start crying 2. After that he did, when I stoped he started crying more, so I ended up crying again. LOL, I remenber everything, from the sunflower seeds I ate, to the way my mom took to get me to school, and when she busted her lip on the sled and knee. Then I moved over here. So it's really cool that I can remenber the way I wnt to school! thx for readin

... said...

pad.foot, that's a great story, and it is interesting to hear your perspective on this from your age. Thanks so much for sharing!

Anonymous said...

The farthest back I can remember is yesterday! I have an awful memory.

Unknown said...

My first memory is when I first realised I was in my body. It sounds very weired and I have learned NOT to talk about it; as people think I'm a liar. But when I was two months old (and I have verified this through experiments), I was being wheeled in a pram, my mother's voice behind me. I look at my hands in absolute wonder and intrigue and said:
"how did I get in here?".
I later verified the age, first through asking my subconscious mind for an answer (by watching a small child and asking the parent the age), second by learning the age that a child finds its hands (2 months old), thirdly, by discussing it with a neuro-scientist who confirms that the neurons reach the hands at 2mths old.

wow!!

... said...

Olie, how sad!

Jen, that is a fascinating story! Wow, really interesting!

Unknown said...

I’m 26 today. I can remember being 2. It helps that we moved many times when I was between the ages of 1-5. I remember showing much distrust to the little plastic potty my parents were so intent on my learning to “potty” in. I remember having to brush my teeth.. .and the little aluminum cup I washed my mouth out. I remember being two and playing with a red fire truck on our white front porch. The bright red image against the white is so powerful. I remember wanting to squeeze our new puppy because he was so soft… and then I remember having to “sit still” with the new puppy so my parents could take a picture. Though I didn’t know what pictures or cameras were at the time… I understand now looking back. I remember my delight whenever my grandma would put me on top of the washing machine or push out her false teeth until they were almost ready to fall out of her mouth… and then she would suck them back in real fast and making a wonderful clapping sound. I remember being forced to take naps and how much I hated it. I remember this doofy stuff clown I had in my crib that I didn’t like, but I felt guilty for not liking him. Maybe at the time I knew it was a gift… I don’t remember now though why I felt guilty for the clown resentment… I just remember the guilty feeling. I remember being forced to wear those obnoxious little pajamas with enclosed feet. I remember being 2-3 and falling asleep at the baby sitters house that lived down from the house with the white porch. I fell asleep with a flaccid balloon, and was quite distressed when I woke up and it was gone. When I was three I went trick or treating and my uncle kept stealing my clown nose. I remember the happy meal toys at McDonalds when I was four. I just looked some of them up on eBay to confirm the dates the remembered toys were released. I remember being shocked when my kindergarten teacher knew it was my birthday the day I first got to school.

I remember remembering. Some kids just think about stuff over and over agian. When I was 4 I’d remember stuff from when I was 3. I remember moving a lot… and not liking it. The change always bothered me… so I spent a lot of time as a small kid remembering how were at the last house. I spent a lot of time noticing how things were different… and we moved so much I always had some new basis of comparison. I think that helped.

Unknown said...

Wow Carey, I identify with you being 3 and remembering being 2. I also had that same reflective ability. I am also a real reflector in my adult life although my memories of those very early years are memories of memories now that I hold on to. Unfortunately, I am a trauma victim, so most of mine are bad memories leaving their scars on my life. But I wouldn't take it back for anything, I believe I chose this path.

Actually I was most shocked when I was about 31 (I'm 37 now), I decided to contact my home town and get my medical records as I knew I'd been in hospital alot as a child, and I'd remembered specific incidences. My jaw dropped at some of the age's that these incidences occurred. 6months? 12months? 18months? Gees, how did I remember that far back.

But it helped enormously because being a victim of assualt for many years, and having ignorant humans feed back that "I couldn't possibly remember at that age", crippled me and caused me alot of distrust in myself. So these records, confirmed alot for me.

I also went back to a house when I was 31, that I'd spent a great deal of time between 1-9 and realised that my memory was photographic! Everything in its place. Just alot smaller!!

I do believe all children have photographic memories but they get marred by poor parenting or just through age, the mind adjusts to belief systems society puts on it regarding time etc. So perception changes. The memory fades also.

I love reading about peoples early memory stories, its so profound for me.

Jen

Anonymous said...

I found this on a google search engine and I was surprised that I could make connections with what you remember. My earliest memory was in the hospital, I remember looking around at the plastic cover over my bassinet and blinking at the bright lights shining through it, I remember the blurry (in my eyes) picture of my family, which at the time I didn't know who or what exactly they were, I remember the socks on my hands and being warm and then I guess my memory shut off until I was 1 when i remember my mom ( a photographer ) taking pictures of me and my older brother outside in our garden in diapers and i remember feeling embarrased that I didn't have a shirt on. I vaguely remember watching my brother and my cousin chasing each other in our backyard and hitting each other with light sabers and thats when i took my first steps so i could play with them. I remember walking outside in the winter to check on our pregnant pomeranian in the shed with a blanket and a portable heater for her and when i opened the door i remember shouting "Puppies!" and picking up all 5 and carrying them inside where my mother panicked because she thought i had squeezed them to hard. I remember sitting in my grandpa's lap the day before he got in a wreck and passed away and that was the first time i talked to him saying "I love you Palpal" i remember then hugging him and feeling how his big belly felt hollow but warm to me. I remember walking down the hall with an elmo mirror pointing it to the bedrooms so i could look at them through the mirror and then i watched my older brother and sister play zelda on our nintendo and i remember swimming with my cousin who was a year older than me and we dared each other to take off our floaties and when i wouldn't she took mine off of me and i remember sinking and seeing blue and the burning in my lungs until my oldest cousin jonathan pulled me up and i remember my cousin apologizing and then being put in time out until i rescued i her from it and then we both ended up in time out. Then i remember kindergarten when i refused to speak to my kindergarten teacher and she wanted to put me in special ed classes and i remember my mom yelling "Speacial Ed?!" and getting removed from the classroom and i laughed. I could already read and write in kindergaten so i remember getting put in advanced classes where i made most of my still close friends and i also remember sitting on the reading carpet and a boy in my class "tripped" and fell on me and kissed me on my lips "By accident." which was his excuse. I remember in 2nd grade a girl who always wore designer clothes told me you couldnt wear pink and blue together and that i should dress more like her and to tell my mother to stop shopping at the dump and i then i punched her right in her lips busted her two front teeth out and told her she better start wishing for her two "grown up teeth" to grow back for christmas instead of that pink pony and i remember ending up in detention and getting yelled at by the principal but getting to go shopping with my mom and thats really as far as my earliest memories go.

... said...

Anon, that is a fascinating story. It really has me wondering about what the common thread might be. Clearly, most can't recall their infancies and their earliest years, but some of us can vividly. Very vividly. Thanks for posting that.

Anonymous said...

I can remember as far back as being a little baby being washed in the kitchen sink and I think I remember my birth...It's weird. I also remember having a sense of loss of bliss after birth. Like it faded as I grew from my babyhood and never came back to visit. Not that I am unhappy, but wonder if anyone else understands this. I also remember my yellow play pin with metal bars and a mesh netting with diffent color giraffes. Then after I poked a hole in it, remember my mom putting it out on the curb for the trash. I remember even a dream I had in Kindergarden. It was weird. There was a cartoon taxi cab sitting behind our kitchen fridge with a creepy Jamacian man with dreads lurking at me. No offense my Jamacian friends. I will admit I remember more very young than short term, not sure why. Now days I have to write it down or forget it!

Anonymous said...

I have one memory that has been with me all my life and never has changed. A memory of a time I appear to my self as being 5 or 6 years old by hight and such. A pure white room, just as clouds or cotton. Standing before me was an woman dress as an angel whould appear, with a small girl who was being dressed by this angelic person. The girl was slightly younger appearing than I. The woman said to the girl don't be afraid, we will always be with you. I can remember being distraught. I ask the woman am I going too, she said you will go. But wont see her for sometime. I remember being sad about this and wondering if they would be with me also. I don't remember anything more of that. But this has haunted me for years and even now at the age of 43. I always wondered if that girl was my sister, who is a year younger than me.

Anonymous said...

Iremember before I was two years old I fell in to a bath of boiling hot water.I do not remember that but what I do remember was being in the Ambulance that took me to the Hospital wraped in a sheet in my Dads arms.From that moment on I remember MUCH of my life> Iam now 64 years old and I live in Plymouth
ENGLAND UK